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Legendary Warrior, Bam-sama
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| Bamsama World Tour |
[Oct. 21st, 2004|08:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Malady |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Noise |
| | Lou Reed - This Magic Moment | ] |
I leave Monday to go to North Carolina, with a 5 hour layover in New York City.
I'm so stoked. I've never been further east than Utah before. I'm excited. |
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| Paroxysm |
[Oct. 2nd, 2004|06:53 am] |
| [ | Current Malady |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Noise |
| | Boy Hits Car - Man Without Skin | ] |
When being awake feels like being on fire, what do you do? |
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| So tired. |
[Sep. 30th, 2004|11:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Malady |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Noise |
| | Killswitch Engage - Breathe Life | ] |
I'm tired.
I'm tired of pissing Heather off and risking my relationship. I'm tired of being jealous that Heather has guy friends, even tho she tells me there's no chance she'll cheat on me. I'm tired of letting my insecurities take control of me.
I'm tired of wanting money. Even though I'm fairly certain I'm getting this job with Caremark, I'm tired of not working, and tired of waiting to work.
I should sleep. |
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| I love Doom 3. |
[Sep. 3rd, 2004|12:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Malady |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | Current Noise |
| | Killswitch Engage - Rose of Sharyn | ] |
SpecialAgentMarc: I played Doom 3 for about.. a week
SpecialAgentMarc: It pisses me off
iamdesertpower: too easy?
SpecialAgentMarc: It's the future, in a space station
SpecialAgentMarc: AND THEY CAN'T PUT A GODDAMN FLASHLIGHT ON THE GUN?
iamdesertpower: lol
SpecialAgentMarc: that one aspect of the game annoys me to hte point where id ont wanna play anymore
iamdesertpower: better yet, you cant hold a gun and a flashlite at the same time?
SpecialAgentMarc: well that i can understand.. need two hands
SpecialAgentMarc: but you'd think a machine gun with like, a display screen and high tech shit
SpecialAgentMarc: would have a light attached to the barrel
iamdesertpower: lol
iamdesertpower: yeah
SpecialAgentMarc: I played the game on a high setting, so you walk into a pitch black room, switch to flashlight, and 3 zombie are already hitting you
SpecialAgentMarc: so i have to run away while switching to a gun and turn around and shoot
SpecialAgentMarc: got gay
iamdesertpower: lol |
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| :) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2004|02:09 am] |
| [ | Current Malady |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Noise |
| | In Flames - Moonshield | ] |
Went to Projekt Revolution last night. Was alot of fun.
Only regret is that we got there late and I only caught Snoop Dogg's last song. :(
Heather's staying the night. I'm listening to her snoring, sleeping away in ignorance to the fact that she's hogging the entire bed (2 adults on a twin blows) and as a result I can't sleep.
Maybe I'll go watch some TV. |
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| Lost? Forgotton? I sure hope I'm not. |
[Jul. 12th, 2004|07:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Malady |
| | worried | ] |
| [ | Current Noise |
| | Depeche Mode - Everything Counts | ] |
I find myself praying on an hourly basis that I don't lose Heather. She means so much to me that often it's too much to handle, but so worth it. She's upset over the fact that I don't have a fulltime 40-hours-a-week job. I can't say I blame her.
Heather is my princess, and like every princess, she needs a prince and a kingdom. I want to be that prince, and I want us to move in together so we have a kingdom. These things require money. Money that this part time security bullshit cannot provide.
I want to work. I want a job. I bust my ass everyday looking for a job. There has to be something I'm doing wrong, or I would have ten jobs by now. I'm scared.
On a brighter note, I think I might have a job with a locksmith company right down the street. I saw their "Help Wanted" sign in the window as I walked past it on my way home from the bus stop, and I went in. After applying and interviewing with some old grizzled gent for about an hour, he tells me, and I quote: "Come in next monday and I'll show you how everything is done."
I'm hoping this means what I think it means and I have a job. If not, I may lose Heather for good, and I've never felt more certain about loving anyone before until I met her. |
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| Help. |
[Jul. 11th, 2004|02:32 am] |
| [ | Current Malady |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Noise |
| | In Flames - Free Fall | ] |
I never seem to understand...
The time, the place and who I am...
Define a way to stay alive...
It's like I'm living a lie... |
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| Sometimes it feels like life is a joke, and I'm some punchline no one laughs at... |
[Jul. 7th, 2004|06:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Malady |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | Current Noise |
| | Crossfade - Cold | ] |
I need a job. I have the Staff job, but let's face it - it's crap. They've let me work one day so far (Warped Tour was great, btw) and I need something more dependable than that.
On another note, my lack of real employment is going to cause me to lose my girlfriend. Can't say I'm surprised. I've been asking myself "If I were in her shoes, would I stay with me?" The answer is no.
This leaves me with a crossroads. I can either try harder, and find a job, and hope things work out... or I can lose her, and be miserable over the fact I've lost one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I want to keep her, so I'm going to try.
Aside from these issues, life's been ok. I'm healthy, I've had an alright disposition, and my sunburn is gone (Damn you, EStaff!).
At least I still have my looks :P
With this journal entry finished, I'm off to map out a path to different staffing agencies from my house in hopes that tomorrow I find a real job. I need this for so many reasons, most of all my sanity and my children. |
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| Cloud Connected |
[Jun. 24th, 2004|04:24 am] |
| [ | Current Malady |
| |  energetic | ] |
Goddamn, I love In Flames.
I don't know what it is about it, but this band totally fills me with energy. Makes me want to run, or punch someone, I love it. |
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